So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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