She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
