My brain says no but my pants say off.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
