yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
