WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize