She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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