Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
