I want to stick my p in your. b.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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