btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
