we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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