ya dads aren't the best wingmen
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
