matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
