How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
