so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize