Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
