i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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