dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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