next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
