I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You smell like stripper and shame
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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