Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
