I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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