spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
