But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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