My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
