Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
