clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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