Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
