I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
