Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
