they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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