Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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