I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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