She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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