my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize