Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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