That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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