The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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