i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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