My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
