Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
