Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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