Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
