So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
