Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize