Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
