I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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