I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
