I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can I color on your dick again?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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