i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He felt like a one man threesome
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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