dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
