Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
