he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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