Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Semen is not good for contacts.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
