Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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