he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
