You're so nebulous sometimes
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
