He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
