respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
