Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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