she kept yelling 'call me bella'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I want a musical about memes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
